I wrote this on a memo on my phone October 31st 2011 at 12:09am while i was supposed to be asleep:
"I feel lately like my emotions are bursting out of me and i can't even control them. Last week there were mayor meltdowns and fights accompanied by laughter and 'i love you's just hours after. I sometimes feel like i have a strong love for people in general and people around me but then something goes a little on the unexpected side and it seems like the end of the world to me. The thing is, it is really not and most of the time it takes me some time to realize it. Things might not go as i want them from time to time but at least they go and I still have the ones i love by my side and they are very supportive and caring.
I kept thinking about something I was told once in a random conversation. "If i am having problems with everyone maybe i might be the one doing things wrong" and I am.
Yes i am entitled to be frustrated and moody sometimes but the way i react is the thing that matters and its not always good. I really don't want Amelia to see and learn and imitate that behavior from me... and from anyone from that matter. I want her to be surrounded by happiness and joy and the only way i can give he that is by changing my attitude. It is obvious that we don't live in a bubble and sometimes things go wrong but for now i have to power to control what Amelia is exposed to, so for now I have to learn how to react and teach my baby that things like that are not really the end of the world and that everything will be ok as long as you have Love and Passion and a creative, positive mind.
This will be the first of my advise to her and this are the words I want her to remember when she is feeling frustrated and sad:
And moreover, i would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of god. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with god in a state of never ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.They sure work for me and i feel blessed to have found this great inspiration for life."
*I'm not really THAT religious but I feel it is important to believe and have faith and i would love to teach Amelia about that. Also, I find that scriptures can give you answers when you have true questions about life and are great when you need inspiration or a little push to have a wonderful day. They just make me want to be a better person*